there is a magical place somewhere in Minnesota named DINKYTOWN USA
some of the highlights of Dinkytown:
-dinkydome
-the pasta-bar that used to be a drugstore
the dinky theatre that has only 4 rows of seats
there are obviously more than enough reasons to jizz at Dinkytown USA.
Did you know that Durham, our fair city of Jizz, is also the home of the largest lemur population outside of Madagascar? Apparently, all of the lemurs in the US belong to the Duke Lemur Center even if they are at another zoo!
Lemurs are adorable and smart, and they have teethcombs to groom each other with. They jizz over monkey chow - which is just like doggie chow! - and their cages look like bachelor pads complete with empty 12pack boxes!
My favorite lemur is Romeo (pictured above). He's the only one of his species at the lemur center so the caretakers are allowed to scratch his belly so he isn't lonely. O Romeo, I will scratch your funny looking belly, and you can teach me how to leap 30 ft in a single bound!
last night i got home and flipped on my TV to find another channel change. something i can't complain about since i don't actually have to pay for my cable....but this time it was a jizz-worthy surprise!
the noggin channel has bumped the travel channel (to where? i'm still trying to figure that out!) and the degrassi, summerland, the best years, and south of nowhere are flowing. i may never leave my house past 6pm again.
i've been waiting for this moment my entire life.
After a weekend spent with four Myrna Loy movies and an evening spent with Robert Osborne and his fantastic June Allyson interview, I am overflowing with jizz for Turner Classic Movies. No commercials to interrupt the flow, if you know what I mean. I fill up my DVR with this jizz weekly, and am never out of classics!
There is just no excuse for how adorable and cheesy and catchy this song is. There is absolutely no excuse for how much it makes me want to burst into song and find a little pre-pubescent man-girl to dance around with in a flood of jizz! I must DVR High School Musical in preparation for the premiere of High School Musical 2 next week! Apparently, they are already filming High School Musical 3! Sigh. To be a tween again!
My squeeze and I love the Food Network, well, mostly we jizz at all things Alton Brown. Feasting on Asphalt Season two has brought the jizz to a meteoric level and we've only seen one episode so far! Alton & his crew are following the Mississippi river from it's beginning in Venice, LA all the way to the end! They are so cute - jizzing on crawfish (or "mudbugs" as Alton says), Andouille Sausage, and learning about the difference between Cajun & Creole. Don't miss another episode! There is alot of yummy food along the Mighty River of Jizz!
I am not the most efficient or confident of cooks, but as I previously pointed out, certain tools make the process much more jizzable.
My current favorite jizz guide is one your mother probably still uses! The Better Homes & Gardens Cookbook! Full color illustrations, handy measurement guides, and quick & easy jizz-inducing recipes to impress all those friends who stay up late watching the food network. I dare Rachel Ray to come up with any recipe as delicious as the BH&G jizz manual!
Christina and i always have a hard time finding the perfect undergarments. I don't like shopping at the mall at ALL, especially when it involves trying on things that go on your bare skin. yick. but i finally discovered a brand or two that works for my bum, so god bless internet shopping so i don't have to deal with the annoyingly-familiar soundtrack or the door-guy handing me 5% off coupons. i like these AE boybriefs - they don't go up my butt crack and they have enough elastic to hold me up through the day.
+++
Christina's Pick: Hanes Cotton-Stretch Bikini with comfort-soft waistband
Soft and jizz-inducing! No ass crawling, no awkward panty lines! 7 for the price of 6 at your local Target!
Pukey B and I recently braved the streets (and buses) of San Francisco and discovered a little shoe heaven at Shoe Biz on Haight St. I finally uncovered the sandals of my most jizz-ful dreams! Picture them in Black and on my foot, and try not to make a mess, will ya?! Pukey B got the parrot Keds for soo cheap! I hope nobody with a foot fetish comes near our office!
And, if this weren't reason enough to jizz, I also got Silver Chucks for $9. That's right, NINE DOLLARS! A "Price is right" jizz for ya! My feet are gonna be blinging for less than rip-offs cost at Payless!
Well, while crafting a new facial hair motif (sure to leave the ladies wet an wild as the crocodile mile),
I decided I ought to pay a jizz homage to our prom queen Pukey B who will be braving the hot as a crotch, sticky, depths of her kingdom for a year, alone...Athens.
My lady, I present you two new thigh ticklers to take with you while passing on the crown to the new queen. I'm so proud of you Pukey!
Teach those kids how to squirt all over their too tights jeans and too tiny, nut showing, shorts.
I'm sorry your king couldn't be there with you, I've got a bunch of sappy, sentimental spunk to unload on some would be marital bliss.
all my love,
Skeet skeet skeet skeet!
We went to visit Jared's Aunt & Uncle in Dawsonville, GA this past weekend. We slept in a giant, tall, and soft kiwi and hot-pink covered bed. That was a jizz in an of itself, however, we hit the switch and a gentle breeze swept through the room. I slept the sleep of the comatose uninterrupted by sweat or kicking off the covers. As if that weren't enough of a reason to jizz, these little puppies are also good for the environment!
The Laughing Cow cheese wedges, in the light swiss variety, are basically a creamy-jizz godsend! they're the perfect size, you can eat 1 or 2 without feeling like you're going poop all night long, and they're spread-ably soft! we took these around town in Rome when we didn't have access to fridge-packs and they were just as delightful spread between a big thick cut of salami and piece of stale bread..mmmm salami!
Jizz:
My favorite movie of all the HP movies of which I have a serious love/hate relationship with due to my OBSESSIVE jizz-spewing love of the books.
Reverse Jizz: Screaming Dumbledore. New Dumbledore pushes and grabs and screams. Dumbledore would never lower himself to scream and push and grab! He is DUMBLEDORE not a big hairy oaf! Big Fat Bat Bogey R-J!
reverse jizz alert: things i've bought that i love
a blog that writes about things that you like? written by a team of friends who all share a love of rooster sauce and cute baby animals? coincidence? i think not! though Kelly is Christina's favorite character on The Office, her blog is a big old reverse-jizz for me!
what's totally R-J about this is that only fellow writers can comment on posts! so how else are we supposed to declare war on Mindy Kaling and her boring blog that basically rips off the almighty jizz blog? (did i mention she started the blog a whole month after she stole the idea from TIJA?)
Jared introduced me to Holmes on Homes on Discovery Home Channel. It's like a horror movie for homeowners! Even better, it's a Canadian show, and you know how we feel about Canadian home improvement shows! Holmes' righteous anger over unsafe, unacceptable construction and taking advantage of the poor, little ignorant homeowner will make you jizz for sure if his overalls and earring haven't accomplished that already! Make it Jizz!
The only thing missing from slip n' sliding when we were kids, was the alcohol. We fixed that problem!
Don't let anyone tell you that Transformers is anything less than THE popcorn movie of the summer! I had so much fun and almost jumped out of my seat at least twice. Girl toys SUCK! Barbie couldn't turn into a Camaro! Bumblebee was my favorite transformer in the movie. Apparently Volkswagon wouldn't let them use the yellow bug that the original transformer toy used, because they thought the movie would be too violent. Big mistake! I just can't stop jizzing about how badass it would be to have a car who turned into a robot! BADASS JIZZ!
My new favorite jizz-makers are Nick & Nora Charles! Witty, fun-loving, sophisticated purveyors of Jizz. In short, what I hope to be when I grow up. Point your mouse immediately at your trusty netflix queue and move The Thin Man to the top! You'll be unable to resist continuing on with the whole jizz-ariffic series! Oh and don't forget a special jizz for Asta, answer to every crossword puzzle in addition to being a righteously jizz-worthy doggie!
I watched The Cosby Show last night. The episode where Vanessa gets drunk at a party. So funny! I jizz at Claire & Cliff's mad-parenting skillz! And that Rudy - she's full of sass! Do yourself a favor and check your local listings for a shot of Cosby Jizz! You can thank me later!
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