Yummy, salty, jizz-like substance in a tube served on a rough wheat cracker. Christina says "Thank you, jizz again, please!" Pukey says "I need a shot to wash down that pink catfood smelling spooge-like substance with a shot of vodka. Or two!"
Excellent cowbell-like instrument to add the jizz-inducing opening to Shout Out Louds hits like "Impossible." Christina says "No thank you" to the gin shot poured into the smaller of the 2 containers. Pukey says "Oh silly Carl, I will shoot gin with you and your adorable little boy face."
We'll let the loyal TIJA readers guess who is Jizzin' and who is Reverse jizzin' on the other's car.
I'm pretty sure everyone in the world is saying "i heart Jens" right about now, but oh my holy jizzness, i just can't stop! If i could make "Simply Irresistible" play when this page pops up, I would.
Jens and I had an encounter last week. That's all I can say about that. swoon.
Gellin', or Jizzin' as we here at TIJA like to say, is as important to the success of a rock show as good sound and hot dudes! Take those tired hounds to the nearest drug store, and those hipster shoes won't cause lame hipster frowns!
I can't stop listening to this M.I.A. song! It's so catchy and shockingly hilarious. See her perform the cap gun version on Letterman below, but visit your local music store for the album version!
Monday, October 08, 2007
Friends and lovers, Noodle D has got some jizz to talk about. I think I might even blow my load not 1, not 2, but 3 times today. So if Pukey B can jizz about some australians, I think I can jizz about this handsome fellow.
Mr. Bill Callahan played to a very excited crowd in Los Angeles for nearly 2 hours! And his crazy leg dances make one wonder if he himself may just be on the verge of a jizz himself! The New Album is a golden piece of the new Americana but I nearly spooied myself when he played 'River Guard' and then it really did run down my leg..... when he played 'Cold Blooded Old Times'.
Mr. Callahan, I salute you. Skeet skeet!
Next Jizz: Remember these old things?
Old, smelly, full of people's unwashed hand spunk and goo, but fun as hell! Bring extra socks kids! I haven't rollerskated since I was barely a wet spot myself. There was the dice game, the worst hot dog I've ever had, a slurpee, and of course the Hokey Pokey! I had so much fun my mess had to be contained - as to prevent slipping, of course. Whether you 8 or 80, blind, crippled, or crazy - you too can jizz on the rink.
Final jizz: Noodle has been watching a lot of Utube lately. Try this for me: Type in the word "Shredding" and you may just come up with something like this...
I really haven't decided if this should be a reverse jizz or not. I mean, these licks are Scalding but for god sakes, two guitars? Seriously, if what happens at about 4:40 doesn't make some sort of liquid come out of your pants...watch it again. There are hundreds upon hundreds of dudes spreading their finger tapping dirtiness around. This stuff is ridiculous and may be a violation of homeland security, or atleast guilty of lude and jizzy behavior.
Goodbye for now and jizz well. Skeet skeet! Noodle
ok, i swear TIJA is not going to turn into a "jizz on indie rock dudes" blog! but these guys are crazy awesome. cute front-dude drummer who also dances like calvin johnson, but in a less creepy way? YES.
the Mind Whip tour that The Ladybug Transistor has been playing on was so much fun in a weird/awkward "maybe this was a private party?" kind of way. but watching people dance all crazy to bands that you never thought people danced to (with the exception of still flyin') makes for a jizz-worthy experience.
Now, I'm not a champion homemaker by anyone's standards, but I do appreciate a good cheese ball. It's one of my signature dishes. Watching two kick ass homemakers - Amy Sedaris & Martha Stewart duke it out over which is better - smoked gouda or cheddar? "bong water" or chutney? - caused me to bubble over with jizz this morning! Although, is it wrong that I still think my cheese ball is better??
(Thanks to Four Four for bringing the video to my attention!)
I can see clearly now & the glasses are gone! It's like I traded in my eyeballs for the newer model! I am currently singing "A Whole New World" from the Disney hit film, Aladdin. Only in this case, it's a Whole New JIZZ!
so i know this record comes out today and the foo fighters are getting more than enough press and don't need help from the lil' old jizz blog, but dave grohl is soooo cuute. seriously! who's with me? one time i was at this secret weezer show and he was hanging out with all of us and ever since then i've just been swooning over him, no matter how many mediocre modern rock hits he puts out into the world. no 4 play. stick it in.
My favorite Mall warrior, Kate T, and I hit the Streets of Southpoint on Saturday bright and early to jizz up our looks for fall!
First, we visited the Clinique counter at Nordstrom. An adorable teenager applied shine and shimmer to my eyes, and then Kate T let me practice scary eyeliner on hers.
Next up, jean shopping at Macy's. Apparently, the commercials didn't lie, Macy's really is a magical jizz factory! The very first pair of jeans I tried on fit perfectly!
After that, we tackled Nordstrom's dress up section to find a spectacular jizz-inducing dress for Kate T to wear to an upcoming wedding. Denise, our "plus-size" administer of jizz, kept us in stitches as she described stealing men from those "skinny LA women" by cooking their men a meal or even just "popping a can of Hungry Jack biscuits."
mmmm.. love me some fizzy water! when your stomach's feeling a little queasy or when you just want something a little tastier than filtered water, sparkling water with lime is kind of the best thing ever invented.
in the office we're fans of poland springs, but the lemon flavor kind of tastes like fruit loops. la croix lime is my pick. too bad it's more expensive than diet coke.
I'm too poor to buy this, but you know it's going on my christmas wishlist. do i have any internet stalkers out there? now taking donations for all things bacon-jizz.
The Villager Cafe in Maurice, LA is the home of the best Shrimp Po Boy and bowl of french fries I have ever had. Bread that is crunchy on the outside, but soft on the inside overstuffed with light & crisp Gulf shrimp. Chopped up potatoes fried and put in a big bowl! My jizz groans filled the tiny dining room and I washed the whole meal down with a bottled diet coke.
If you go to Maurice for a po boy jizz, stop in next door and get a stuffed chicken or seasoned brisket from Jo Ann at Hebert's Specialty Meats. Your kitchen will overflow with a taste jizzplosion!
Did you know that Durham, our fair city of Jizz, is also the home of the largest lemur population outside of Madagascar? Apparently, all of the lemurs in the US belong to the Duke Lemur Center even if they are at another zoo!
Lemurs are adorable and smart, and they have teethcombs to groom each other with. They jizz over monkey chow - which is just like doggie chow! - and their cages look like bachelor pads complete with empty 12pack boxes!
My favorite lemur is Romeo (pictured above). He's the only one of his species at the lemur center so the caretakers are allowed to scratch his belly so he isn't lonely. O Romeo, I will scratch your funny looking belly, and you can teach me how to leap 30 ft in a single bound!
last night i got home and flipped on my TV to find another channel change. something i can't complain about since i don't actually have to pay for my cable....but this time it was a jizz-worthy surprise!
the noggin channel has bumped the travel channel (to where? i'm still trying to figure that out!) and the degrassi, summerland, the best years, and south of nowhere are flowing. i may never leave my house past 6pm again.
After a weekend spent with four Myrna Loymovies and an evening spent with Robert Osborne and his fantastic June Allyson interview, I am overflowing with jizz for Turner Classic Movies. No commercials to interrupt the flow, if you know what I mean. I fill up my DVR with this jizz weekly, and am never out of classics!
There is just no excuse for how adorable and cheesy and catchy this song is. There is absolutely no excuse for how much it makes me want to burst into song and find a little pre-pubescent man-girl to dance around with in a flood of jizz! I must DVR High School Musical in preparation for the premiere of High School Musical 2 next week! Apparently, they are already filming High School Musical 3! Sigh. To be a tween again!
.jpg){kind=link}