The Emmy's - mostly reverse-jizz

Worst Emmy's ever? It just seemed really ill-produced, and they should never ever have let the reality hacks into the academy. That opening . . . oof. And Heidi, who I was counting on to class things up a bit, wore bad clothes and actually took part in a "bit" where her clothes were ripped off.

You know it's a bad year when Josh Groban is actually a high point.

Most of the clothes were beautiful! In fact, I feel that I should use this space only to reverse-jizz January Jones aka Betty Draper. Mad Men, winner of the best drama emmy, is a new obsession of mine in no small part due to Mrs. Betty Draper. January Jones needs to hire Betty's stylist and stop shopping for the red carpet in Frederick's of Hollywood. If you look hard enough, you can almost see her freaking belly button for god's sake!

Williams-Sonojizz Recipes

The Williams-Sonoma website is full of fancy-shmancy recipes that all look totally delicious. The good thing is, most of them aren't as hard as you'd think! They just LOOK impressive! This website is a lot less aggravating than FoodNetwork.com, so I give it one mouthful of jizz thumb way up. Try the No-Knead Rosemary & Lemon bread or the filled pankcakes! MMMM!

Teal Jizz

I have painted many pieces of furniture in my life, but none have brought me as much satisfaction as my big teal shelf o' vinyl. Look at it! It's beautiful! It just screams, "TEAL! JIZZ!"

Pot o' Jizz

Last night, my husband created a culinary masterpiece. To the naked eye, it looked like a baked chicken, but once in my mouth, there was a jizz-splosion that shook the very foundation of our house. Thanks to Jared's mad culinary skills and this lovely pot by Le Creuset, baked chicken was taken to a whole new level. Le Creuset will now be known as Le pot de Jette at my house! (and yes, I did look up "jizz" in the English to French dictionary)

Childhood jizz-splosion

My friend Alicia and I organized an Anne of Green Gables book club in honor of the 100 year anniversary of the book. All of my childhood dreams of being Canadian, the knack of making everyone love me, and discovering my true feelings for a hazel-eyed future doctor (almost too late!) have been re-awakened. I long for words like "slender," "tall," "ruddy" and "starry" to be applied to me. I yearn for red hair and seven freckles on my nose.

2008 isn't so bad, but I'd give it all up to be Anne! Oh well, I'll just have to take comfort in my husband's hazel eyes and re-reading all eight Anne books whenever I need a shot of youthful jizz.

Commuter Jizz

The sweat on my face could easily be mistaken for a bucket of jizz.

Shiny new computers and Jizz Mail

We at TIJA are unabashed Microsoft haters. Our old, faithful iMacs suffered through years of Entourage hell before finally we retired them this week.

Lindsey and I are now in the PO (power office) looking at all of the images below and the grins on our faces are testament to the amount of joy in our britches.

Jizz on the Run!

I love Wings. Athens, GA, home of the world's greatest cover bands, has assembled the greatest Wings cover band ever! They are called Hi Hi Hi - Jizz Jizz Jizz is more like it! Full horn section, full McCartney mullet. Amazing.

Carne Asada with a side of jizz

Trader Joe's is universally recognized as an amazing store filled with jizz-inducing snacks and 3 buck chuck. This is a new item recently tried at the Martinson hacienda. Grill up some veggies and wrap this tender spicy beef in a tortilla, and the jizz sparks will fly!

Full killer meal instructions with photos here.

Mamma Jizz-a!

I haven't had so much fun in a movie theatre since Bride and Prejudice! Bursting into song, dance sequences, Greece, mankinis, and sequins! Sure, Pierce Brosnan can't sing, but he adds to the comedy. And, of COURSE, Colin Firth isn't gay, but he sure plays it well. Go see it in the theatre, be loud, have fun. The world would be a much better place if Abba wrote the soundtrack.

Jimmy Jizz's

The ladies of TIJA have a new obsession. We love the # 12 at Jimmy John's. Smells delicious in there, not super-expensive, and you don't feel all dirty after you eat it. There's one on ninth street - check it out! Tell 'em your friends at TIJA sent you, and don't forget to ask for hot peppers and a pickle!

Jizz Bo

I have been playing this game since I was a little girl. If you play it with real cards, it's called Spite and Malice. I taught my new husband how to play on our honeymoon ferry boat ride, and now he is addicted just like me. Once you get the rules straight, you'll be jizz bo'ing with the best of them!

Psych Jizz Out

How can you not watch this show after the brilliance of this promo? New episodes on July 18. And new episodes of Monk, too!

250 pieces of jizz

Christina went to costco and brought back this giant bag of deliciousness. Nerds, Twizzlers, Tootsie Rolls, SweetTarts, Jolly Ranchers, Laffy Taffy, Starburst, Skittles..jizzx250.

TIM HORTON'S JIZZ

I had been waiting for this moment almost my entire life. The perfect donut was found in Windsor, Ontario this weekend. I ate a whole box of timbits on top of a maple crunch stuffed with vanilla pudding. JIZZ.

my very own jizz kittens!

Jizz Shot

How had I never seen Slap Shot before? Seriously! That movie is awesome! Let the Hanson Brothers "check" the jizz right out of you!

Jared's boxset of jizz

I must salute my jizz-tastic fiance for his help in winning the Sex and the City boxset from our local newspaper. Nothing says true love like a freddy mercury mustache and a quote in the paper about how excited he is to watch "every episode!" Sorry girls, he's taken!

Frozen Jizz on a hot day

Lindsey, Wilson and I just walked outside into the sauna-like 102 degree weather to the local convenience store for ice cream treats. Lindsey had a giant ice cream twix - caramel jizz with a cookie center. I had a giant nutty buddy with chocolate AND vanilla ice cream and little nuts and a sugar cone. Giant jizz!

5 Star JIZZ

Last weekend . . . I jizzed here:


Here . . .


And most definitely HERE: