After months of internet-free frustration, I am jizzing wirelessly, y'all! An EXTREME wireless connection courtesy of my new Airport Extreme! Sleek, white, and covered in jizz. I wonder what the neighbors will think when they come across our wireless network which Jared has named "Base Station of Sex" . . . They'll probably just wish they knew the password!
This video amazes me to the point of jizz. I found it on this blog while reading the story of the jizz kitten, Token, on the cover of the Ladybug Transistor record. A bizarre jizz for your hump day!
i love it when bands come to town and we get to hang out and eat at our favorite places! jizz on me if spott's house isn't the perfect setting for the cuteness overload of a photoshoot with the ladybug transistor! unf unf jizzz.
side jizz: red beards
Goodbye, Gilmore Girls! We jizzed and cried with you for 7 yrs. We celebrated Kirk & even Taylor. We lamented the transformation of Rory to (Adulterous) Whore-y. Now, alas, what will replace this gaping, jizz-less hole in our Tuesday night TV schedule?!
oh athens, you will always hold a special place in my heart. whether it be down at the old lumber yard getting ideas for interior design and home restoration, hearing girls throw up at the 40 watt, or stuffing my face at 5 star day.. i know that my trips will always include 1 thing: dark meat. take that to mean whatever you want.
a taste of the scene (where are all the clips of my favorite restaurants?):
Kronic and I felt that we didn't need to write a wordy list of reasons why this movie reeked so terribly. Instead we have two phrases to describe what went wrong.
Evil Bangs.
Dance Sequence.
Badly done. No jizz for you!
I sing a song of Alka Seltzer. With one taste of your jizzy fizz, my wartorn stomach is soothed . . . my headache is assuaged . . . my body is again ready to take the fried apps and jaeger bombs I force upon it as often as possible. Available next to the Combos at your nearest Quickie Mart - coincidence? I think not.
Alright, so this may seem incredibly sophomoric and frat boyish....but what's better than a big plastic glass full of frothy, bubbly love?
So we came back to Coochie Coochies apartment last night, only to find her neighbors were having a b-day party with a huuuge keg. I immediately started spotting and needed to cool myself down by pouring some ice cold liquid right into my gullet and down my throat. Nothing beats pumping on that handle until ounces and ounces of foamy jizz goodness comes skeetin' into your cup.
I'm suddenly embarassed with the amount of jizz I created over a simple barrel of barley pop but goddamit I love America!
I'd also like to extend a jizz hug to my two favourite mouths from the south, the ladies who jizz like I never could pray to do. I hear they were tangoing with our love/hate friend the Wild Turkey (whom one could argue is deserved of a jizz salute himself).
With that, my inner frat boy demons have been exercised.
Love, hugs, and jizz forever
xoxo
Noodle D
mmmm. nocciola (hazelnut), stracciatella (vanilla with chocolate), or caffe - MMMMMMM. scoop me up some of that! an ice cold, italian jizz right into my mouth, by way of one of those funny looking spoons:
So this is a first for us. Never before have we jizzed bi-lingually!!
Through research I have found that Jizz in "spanish slang" is: Mecco
So, in regards to this post, I will say "Yo hago mecco por La Fea Mas Bella!"
This is the spanish channel novela version of Ugly Betty. Basically, Leti is the "fea" (ugly one) but is so pure in heart and character that all the hunky men on the show soon grow weak in the knees and "Hacen mecco para ella" (make jizz for her)
She is quite possibly the most awkward and at the same time adorable young lady on tv right now. Ofcourse, all of this is only possible when you've got your fluent and understanding girlfriend to translate the story line for you.
So tune into Univision and splash some love juice around. I think even this hunky Noodle has fallen for this mysteriosa.
But hurry up and watch. Unlike American soap operas, these shows actually end!
Jizz without and beyond borders or barriers. Jizz across the globe.
Yours truly,
Noodle D
*Photo depicts how I look when I wear a bathing suit . . . in my dreams!
I cannot find a proper photograph of the magnificence that is my new Wal-Mart teal plastic lay out chair. Rest assured, it is a thing of beauty! Sunday was so beautiful, I broke in my soon-to-be-tanned-&-leather-like skin and my jizz-proof (the jizz wipes right off!) chair. Summer sun, something's begun, but uh-oh that summer jizz!
Oh, and gratuitous kitten jizz.
I first heard of Sweet Juniper from Laura's year end top 10 list. I didn't pay much attention then, because I thought it was just a blog about a freaking adorable little girl. But, after I saw Sarah Brown's link, too, I thought I should check it out! And oh my god, adorable jizz mixed with palm-itching cuteness jizz mixed with I-wish-I-were-these-people jizz = Sweet Juniper! I am crying and laughing and wishing this were a novel so I didn't feel so unable to live up to the coolness and sweetness standards these jizz-masters set!
As one of the few people I know to stand by Aaron Sorkin even though Studio 60 is admittedly not the slamdunk jizz the pilot seemed to promise, I have not lost my sense of humor about it. The below video is very funny! I found the link from The Hater. She hates on Aaron Sorkin and on Studio 60, but that is about the only thing we disagree on. Maybe she didn't watch The oh-so-jizz-worthy West Wing. Maybe she doesn't have an imaginary rabbit named Toby Ziegler. I am not afraid to jizz alone!
On the topic of jizz-worthy sauces . . . While I worked at Lantern, I never had a real appreciation for what we called "Rooster Sauce." It was just another condiment, and I am generally not a fan of condiments. However, now I am a believer! The most hum drum leftovers are made new and exciting again with a little squirt of this magical jizz! Try it! You can jizz at me later.
I finally got around to watching Casino Royale. Wow. Really fun to watch and not just because of the man candy! Daniel Craig is a great Bond, and you know it must be hard to fit all of that jizz in a mankini!
thanks to the durham public library and their limited selection of cookbooks, i happened upon this book for every night cooking (something i obvs struggle with) and found the magical stir-fry recipe that i've been looking for since i moved out on my own.
secret ingredient: oyster sauce! i'm sure chinese cookbooks had told me (and my mother who never changes her recipes) over and over to go buy a bottle of this sketchy looking stuff, but tonight i finally took the plunge. and i jizzed all over the first bite. thanks for finding my match made in stir-fry heaven, bon appetit cookbook!
Welcome, Guest Blogger, Ross from the Broken West!
My inaugural post should be about jizzing on big natties (aka big naturals), as that is one of my favorite pasttimes.
However, I just had to spray a hot, steaming load of jizz on this snuggly coyote. Normally, I hate coyotes because they eat kitty cats and I LOVE kitties.
However, one must admire this coyote's temerity and gusto. He waltzed into a Quizno's in Chicago, of all places, and curled up amongst the juice and sodas for a little nap. Oh my, the jizz is exploding at an alarming rate of speed at such an adorable animal.
This is a companion jizz to my previous post. Sometimes, after a rough night, you just gotta jizz to the border. A bag full of skeet-covered goodness for under $5! Jizz outside the bun!
This is what the Kronic and I smell like today. Lemon and Gin. Gin makes you smarter, and we jizz at anything that increases our brain function. Thanks Beefeaters for the jizzolutionary ideas. And the headache.
Menomena brought their funky beats to chapel hill last night and i was lucky enough to be there - given no choice but to jizz in my pants after the sax was brought out and the harmonies delivered.
sigh.
