Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Morning Jizz: Best Breakfast Ever!

Two Eggo Waffles. Toasted twice for maximum crunchiness.

Smear generously with Jiff Creamy Peanut Butter

Add a generous dollop of unsweetened apple sauce

A somewhat healthy, balanced and delicious breakfast that will keep your jizz boosters firing full-speed until lunch!

Monday, January 28, 2008

SAG Awards - Jizz/R-J

I must admit to not watching the SAG awards.. The writer's strike has destroyed my spirit, and so has the boring lack of color in red carpet wear over the past couple of years. In an attempt to revive my lagging enthusiasm, I present the 2008 SAG Awards Jizz/R-J. Keep in mind, that just because you have reached a spectacular new low or you look divinely elegant as per usual, or you think you are soo special because you ripped off our blog, does not make you worthy of being mentioned below.

Jizz: America Ferrara

Oh so pretty! And feminine! I can't decide if she is really as adorable as I think she is or if it's just the contrast with Ugly Betty.

Jizz: Cate Blanchett

Form-fitting without being vile, and just "mother earth" enough to be perfect!

Reverse-Jizz: Ellen Page

O Ellen, you are adorable! Get a stylist so I don't have to put you back on the R-J list in February!

Reverse-Jizz: Jenna Fischer

I have grown accustomed to your cheap wedding hair, Jenna, but an ill-fitting mother of the bride dress is inexcusable.

Captain & Mrs. Reverse-Jizz:

Vomit. Puke. Repeat.

Please do yourself a favor and read the best SAG wrap-up ever!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Happy New Jizz!

My first jizz of 2008 is for the delectable Oreo Cookie. Two Chocolate cookies with white frosting in the middle - dipped in a large cupful of milk . . . A symbol of tolerance and a message of jizz in these troubled times!

Happy New Year - may 2008 be filled with jizz for each and every one of us!