Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Cover'ed with jizz!

I have long expressed my undying love for The Onion AV Club and their awesome writers and thoughtful features as well as The Hater, who is my pop culture soul mate. Well, now they have come up with a fun fun project - 25 bands covering 25 songs and it kicked off with Ted Leo!

Ted Leo and the Pharmacists cover Tears for Fears' "Everybody Wants to Rule the World"

Monday, March 08, 2010

Oscars mini jizz/reverse-jizz

Another year, another Oscars! This year, the big winner was Sandy Bullock! Even if she had lost the Oscar, she would still have been the big winner, because she looked stunning and carried herself with humility and grace in a year when both were lacking (I'm talking to you, snooty "I've already won twice" costume designer!).

Other jizzes went to Vera Farmiga, Oprah Winfrey, Gabby Sidibe, Rachel McAdams, Neil Patrick Harris, George Clooney, and the always glorious Meryl for looking like they were having a good time!

Reverse-jizzes go to Kristen Stewart, who despite looking pretty for a change, still managed to look bored and put-upon when presenting the horror movie montage. Molly Ringwald was fairly terrifying, and whoever spray-tanned SJP should be taken out and shot!

Alec Baldwin & Steve Martin with a little help from Neil Patrick Harris made a nice, easy-going Oscar ceremony, but the awkward "no you're the best" presentations for the big awards just made me uncomfortable. Even though, Gabby Sidibe must've felt like she won all of the Oscars after the speech Oprah gave!

Also, major Jizz to Kathryn Bigelow, who despite wearing a not-so-good dress, made a great movie and showed up her ex-husband in a year when that seemed impossible! I was excited even though it lost me $95 in my Oscar pool!

For photos & more commentary, read the Fug Girls!

Monday, January 04, 2010

Jizzie Bauer

Who knew mom clothes could be so awesome?! Well, my friends, I am now a believer! Apparently, being in your 30s means you can admit things like "I am petite" and "Maybe my grandmother was on to something" when it comes to clothes and shoes!

Big sale happening now & the outlets are awesome.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Biggest Loser Jizz-loss Yoga!

For those times in your life when you're feeling a little sluggish, Bob is there to help you sweat it out!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Patton Oswalt's Christmas Shoes

Watch this hilarious Patton Oswalt comedy bit cleverly animated to be just perfect for TIJA this holiday season!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

A long dry spell . . .

TIJA compadre, the Kronic and I have been a little lax in our jizz updates due to an insane October and early November, but the holiday season is upon us and we are serving our Thanksgiving turkeys with a warm spurt of thankfulness!

Kronic is going to shank her valiant attempt at the "South Beach" diet in thankfulness for Trader Joe's Peppermint Bark.

I am thankful I got to visit Greece, and that there is always a chance I'll win the lottery and move to Naxos - home of delicious citron, honey and the Portara, "Door to Nowhere." Fingers crossed!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Petroleum JIZZ

I might not be as crazy as Tyra, but I must agree with her assessment of Vaseline. After two nights using this undercover eye cream, I look almost 27 again!