Petroleum JIZZ

I might not be as crazy as Tyra, but I must agree with her assessment of Vaseline. After two nights using this undercover eye cream, I look almost 27 again!

Jizz / Reverse Jizz Emmy's

First off, we can agree that Neil Patrick Harris is suave, adorable, and generally awesome. Congrats, NPH! I do think dividing the show into categories, while perhaps better for those of us who couldn't care less about reality TV and need to clean the kitchen, made for a less exciting show.

Major JIZZ to Jon Hamm & Jennifer Westfeldt. Jon Hamm couldn't be anymore charming and he seems to genuinely love his lady in that hot Prince Charming way!

The ladies of Mad Men were relatively lackluster. Elisabeth Moss looked pretty, but her dress was entirely too bedazzled for such a tiny lady. She needed a Kronhaus creation, obviously.

And Christina Hendricks always looks like death warmed over on the red carpet, but she is so incredibly hot on Mad Men. FIX IT!

Same with January Jones - at least her hair and make-up were lovely. That dress . . . stop wearing cheap white dresses, January, and maybe the Emmy's will wake up and realize you are doing some of the best acting on TV.

A shocked jizz goes to Drew Barrymore, who after this nightmare, managed to look youthful and fresh and sweet. She should always go for sweet over crazy and punk.

And I loved Blake Lively's dress - yes it was a little brazen, but if I had her body, well, you'd all be lucky if I ever wore clothes!

Now, bring on the Oscars!

They should call them "skeets"

Now, I resisted twitter for longer than most, certainly longer than Steve Inskeep and his fellow NPR News hosts who can't talk about anything but "tweeting!" After a couple of weeks exploring the Twitter-verse, I must say, I am hooked!

Jessica Simpson's brilliance brightens my day ("My parents home is a sanctuary. I love velveeta!! :)") and ShitMyDadSays causes belly laughs ("The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shits in something, you own it. Remember that.").

Oh and we mustn't forget SHAQ!

Take a spin through twitter and report back if you find something good!

Poor Man's Jizz

Cooking with Ramen to make actual delicious food is something I just discovered despite Pukey B's frequent endorsement. My favorite cookbook has a bunch of recipes to choose from using this tasty treat, and I intend to make them all! Start with the beef, spinach & shiitake combo. You'll love it!

jizz blast soda!

A new gas station in town offers 44 oz sodas for $0.59!!!!!
PLUS, their fountain features FLAVOR BLASTS. Mix any two flavor blasts with your soda for an extra flavorful treat that will last you all afternoon. I got Diet Coke with lime, Christina got Sprite Zero with cherry - almost makes us forget that Durham is sorely lacking a Sonic.

Man V Jizz

Jared & I love this show, but I do start to dry heave a little when he has to eat things with too many eggs. The Portland breakfast burrito almost killed me! A giant donut, though? JIZZ!

Jizzles: CRAZY cores

I love candy that sounds disgusting, but actually tastes delicious. Gotta love a little mystery in your sugary snack food, too!