Wednesday, December 17, 2008

New Neko!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Jizz You, Penguin

Why didn't we think of this?! Instead of saying "awww" and frying up the baby animals after we jizz at them, we should have cursed at them and put them in their place! Thank you, baby boy for the link!

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Yule Jizz Up

My family and I have one thing in common. One thing that we all agree 100% on. Christmas Vacation is one of the funniest movies ever made. Watch it and you'll agree. The below scene is my current favorite after my gajillionth viewing!

Monday, December 08, 2008


Watch live video from wimseybd's channel on

Sunday, December 07, 2008

More biters . . .

More proof that TIJA mania is sweeping the nation!

Friday, December 05, 2008


Jizzle Cats

Friday, November 21, 2008

Odd Couples

See more jizzworthy couples here

Friday, November 14, 2008

Jizz on my bed

Just try crawling out from under one of these dream-catchers on a grey, rainy November morning!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Puppy Cam!

Remember to wipe the jizz off of these puppies before you slap some BBQ sauce on them and eat them they are so freaking cute!

Free live streaming by Ustream

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Fall into the Jizz

I suddenly have an uncontrollable urge to go shop at the Gap. This happened last year, too. mmmmm - Those . . . sweaters . . . look . . . so . . . warm!

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Yes We Can

The Onion live-blogged the Chicago rally.

All I can say is JIZZ. Join me, will you?

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

BLUE Jizz!

Let's hope that our country celebrates the biggest collective jizz ever today! VOTE!

Monday, November 03, 2008


stolen from catbirdjizz

Saturday, November 01, 2008


Monday, October 27, 2008

Jizz Marathon

CMJ was extremely jizz-worthy and we rose to the occasion. Many late booze-filled nights that turned into epic jizz sessions. Much love to our West Coast jizz-meister, Baby boy aka Thad aka Noodle D aka Morseth aka fearless protector.

TIJA BFF, Julia and Lindsey doing skeletal gymnastics. A little bit higher, ladies!

Kronic and I saluting our mad party-throwing skillz with a confusing hand gesture.

Man love making new friends!

"Thad" from Vampire Weekend. He discovered African influence, you know? And some frat dudes really believed him and wanted their picture taken with him.

Matt Lemay, Christine & I rocking the stripes - it's like one of those pictures where if you look hard enough, you can see JIZZ.

photo by Jonny Leather
Julian from The Music Tapes playing the drums with a bouncy ball while singing about how there should be no more parents. YES!

Last but not least - 7 Foot Tall Metronome in action! Can you feel the jizz tonight?

See you next year, CMJ! TIJA showcase? You never know!

CMJ bingo

Monday, October 20, 2008

Black Cab in a jizz-filled black cab

In honor of Noodle D coming to CMJ this year, here's a special little video:

Friday, October 17, 2008

"Can I get you a towel for all that jizz?"

LA appreciation week concludes with a salute to the crew of Desperate Housewives! All completely sweet and accommodating to two mere hangers-on. I cannot say thank you enough! I will cherish my "Desperate Housewives" bottle of water and my official Warner Bros. visitor's parking pass forever!

Pour one out and cheer when you see Paul Bullock's name as writer on November 2nd's DH episode!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Gardens of Jizzco

No menus, hard to understand waiters, and delicious margaritas! LA Jizz week continues with a skeet directed at our favorite meal of the trip! Cream sauce on my salmon, indeed!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Top Down Jizz

LA Appreciation week continues to a mighty jizz hard top salute to the Pontiac G6. We impressed valet drivers all over town, and felt the arid winds of Los Angeles fry our poor hair to the roots. We made Mulholland Drive our bitch and cruised from Venice Beach to Santal Monica. We made friends with the residents of "Boys Town" aka West Hollywood with our rousing rendition of "King of Wishful Thinking" at the top of our lungs at 2am. It really could have been a Pontiac commercial - we're still waiting on our 3 picture deal!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Mecca Jizz

Chateau Marmont is a beautiful haven for celebrities who just want to eat a nice meal in peace. Hilary and I infiltrated the joint and jizzed at a patio full of the rich and famous while clearly setting ourselves apart from the VIPs as we tossed back cocktails and ate bread and cheese, carbs be damned! I could almost see Isla Fisher wiping the jizz off her shoes as she left, and Ben Stiller giving his righteous little booty a swipe to free himself of our avid jizz-filled stares.

O, Chateau Marmont . . . when we hit the big time, we will return!

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Reverse-Jizz: Biters

Noodle D aka Baby Boy may not jizz often, but when he does, he makes a much bigger mess than Lindsey and I do! Who can forget the Jizz Kittens?

It's not nice to find nemeses, but when we do, we call them out!

Tiny Mix Tapes - consider yourself on notice!

Best Week Ever - yes, you made us giggle, and yes that baby deer made us jizz, but shame on you!

Noodle D aka Baby Boy, you remain # 1 in our hearts!


or is it Skeet-skeet-skeeter?!!

Look at this fine mutha'

I fell in love with this 'speeding motorcycle' a while back and I'm only just coming to terms with it now. I see them everywhere, and every time I do...I have to go back in the house and change my pants....

80-120 mpg AND it can hold 2! That's if we're both not slippin off the seat - if you know what I mean. I'd be unloading some 10w-30 viscosity of my own!

Can you imagine a little Noodle D weaving in and out of traffic on this beautiful beast?

Can I have one mama?! CAN I?!
Uh oh.... I should just wear a diaper looking at this thing.

Skeet skeet skeet!
Noodle D xoxo

Monday, September 22, 2008

The Emmy's - mostly reverse-jizz

Worst Emmy's ever? It just seemed really ill-produced, and they should never ever have let the reality hacks into the academy. That opening . . . oof. And Heidi, who I was counting on to class things up a bit, wore bad clothes and actually took part in a "bit" where her clothes were ripped off.

You know it's a bad year when Josh Groban is actually a high point.

Most of the clothes were beautiful! In fact, I feel that I should use this space only to reverse-jizz January Jones aka Betty Draper. Mad Men, winner of the best drama emmy, is a new obsession of mine in no small part due to Mrs. Betty Draper. January Jones needs to hire Betty's stylist and stop shopping for the red carpet in Frederick's of Hollywood. If you look hard enough, you can almost see her freaking belly button for god's sake!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Williams-Sonojizz Recipes

The Williams-Sonoma website is full of fancy-shmancy recipes that all look totally delicious. The good thing is, most of them aren't as hard as you'd think! They just LOOK impressive! This website is a lot less aggravating than, so I give it one mouthful of jizz thumb way up. Try the No-Knead Rosemary & Lemon bread or the filled pankcakes! MMMM!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Teal Jizz

I have painted many pieces of furniture in my life, but none have brought me as much satisfaction as my big teal shelf o' vinyl. Look at it! It's beautiful! It just screams, "TEAL! JIZZ!"

Monday, September 08, 2008

Pot o' Jizz

Last night, my husband created a culinary masterpiece. To the naked eye, it looked like a baked chicken, but once in my mouth, there was a jizz-splosion that shook the very foundation of our house. Thanks to Jared's mad culinary skills and this lovely pot by Le Creuset, baked chicken was taken to a whole new level. Le Creuset will now be known as Le pot de Jette at my house! (and yes, I did look up "jizz" in the English to French dictionary)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Childhood jizz-splosion

My friend Alicia and I organized an Anne of Green Gables book club in honor of the 100 year anniversary of the book. All of my childhood dreams of being Canadian, the knack of making everyone love me, and discovering my true feelings for a hazel-eyed future doctor (almost too late!) have been re-awakened. I long for words like "slender," "tall," "ruddy" and "starry" to be applied to me. I yearn for red hair and seven freckles on my nose.

2008 isn't so bad, but I'd give it all up to be Anne! Oh well, I'll just have to take comfort in my husband's hazel eyes and re-reading all eight Anne books whenever I need a shot of youthful jizz.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Commuter Jizz

The sweat on my face could easily be mistaken for a bucket of jizz.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Shiny new computers and Jizz Mail

We at TIJA are unabashed Microsoft haters. Our old, faithful iMacs suffered through years of Entourage hell before finally we retired them this week.

Lindsey and I are now in the PO (power office) looking at all of the images below and the grins on our faces are testament to the amount of joy in our britches.

Monday, August 04, 2008

Jizz on the Run!

I love Wings. Athens, GA, home of the world's greatest cover bands, has assembled the greatest Wings cover band ever! They are called Hi Hi Hi - Jizz Jizz Jizz is more like it! Full horn section, full McCartney mullet. Amazing.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Carne Asada with a side of jizz

Trader Joe's is universally recognized as an amazing store filled with jizz-inducing snacks and 3 buck chuck. This is a new item recently tried at the Martinson hacienda. Grill up some veggies and wrap this tender spicy beef in a tortilla, and the jizz sparks will fly!

Full killer meal instructions with photos here.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Mamma Jizz-a!

I haven't had so much fun in a movie theatre since Bride and Prejudice! Bursting into song, dance sequences, Greece, mankinis, and sequins! Sure, Pierce Brosnan can't sing, but he adds to the comedy. And, of COURSE, Colin Firth isn't gay, but he sure plays it well. Go see it in the theatre, be loud, have fun. The world would be a much better place if Abba wrote the soundtrack.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Jimmy Jizz's

The ladies of TIJA have a new obsession. We love the # 12 at Jimmy John's. Smells delicious in there, not super-expensive, and you don't feel all dirty after you eat it. There's one on ninth street - check it out! Tell 'em your friends at TIJA sent you, and don't forget to ask for hot peppers and a pickle!

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Jizz Bo

I have been playing this game since I was a little girl. If you play it with real cards, it's called Spite and Malice. I taught my new husband how to play on our honeymoon ferry boat ride, and now he is addicted just like me. Once you get the rules straight, you'll be jizz bo'ing with the best of them!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Psych Jizz Out

How can you not watch this show after the brilliance of this promo? New episodes on July 18. And new episodes of Monk, too!

Friday, June 20, 2008

250 pieces of jizz

Christina went to costco and brought back this giant bag of deliciousness. Nerds, Twizzlers, Tootsie Rolls, SweetTarts, Jolly Ranchers, Laffy Taffy, Starburst, Skittles..jizzx250.

Monday, June 16, 2008


I had been waiting for this moment almost my entire life. The perfect donut was found in Windsor, Ontario this weekend. I ate a whole box of timbits on top of a maple crunch stuffed with vanilla pudding. JIZZ.

my very own jizz kittens!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Jizz Shot

How had I never seen Slap Shot before? Seriously! That movie is awesome! Let the Hanson Brothers "check" the jizz right out of you!

Friday, June 13, 2008

Jared's boxset of jizz

I must salute my jizz-tastic fiance for his help in winning the Sex and the City boxset from our local newspaper. Nothing says true love like a freddy mercury mustache and a quote in the paper about how excited he is to watch "every episode!" Sorry girls, he's taken!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Frozen Jizz on a hot day

Lindsey, Wilson and I just walked outside into the sauna-like 102 degree weather to the local convenience store for ice cream treats. Lindsey had a giant ice cream twix - caramel jizz with a cookie center. I had a giant nutty buddy with chocolate AND vanilla ice cream and little nuts and a sugar cone. Giant jizz!

Monday, June 09, 2008

5 Star JIZZ

Last weekend . . . I jizzed here:

Here . . .

And most definitely HERE:

Friday, June 06, 2008

JJ's new jizz kitten!

JJ's life is now complete with his very own jizz kitten! Look how cute he is!! Now I need to pick a few out and take them home too!

Sunday, June 01, 2008


I am a sucker for movies and books depicting British village life with little gossipy old ladies. It is no secret that I am well on my way to being a gossipy old lady, but alas without a British accent. Cranford is a mini-series that just aired on Masterpiece. Watch it and laugh, cry & jizz with adorable old ladies, as well as the extremely jizz-worthy red-headed Dr. Harrison. You may recognize the actor from the Keira Knightley Pride and Prejudice in which he played the sweet, simple purveyor of jizz, Mr. Bingley.