Monday, December 18, 2006

The Eye of Jizz



Need a Hurricanes trash can? Christmas stocking? Commemorative puck? 8X10 glossy of Mike Commodore (JIZZ)? Or maybe just a flag for your car? Where can one find such a treasure trove of Jizz? The Eye at the RBC Center! Pick up your 'Canes tickets and buy the man of your dreams a Commodore Robe while you are at it! You won't be sorry!

Friday, December 15, 2006

Another Jizz Kitty!



Meet Winston. If you have a minute, watch him eating mashed potatoes or responding to the Project Runway finale. Sweet Jizz-us, he is adorable!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Pillar of Jizz



The Thermals have been inspiring spontaneous jizz via my cd player for many moons, but as more and more people catch on and join me in the Thermals jizz, we get to see videos like this! They are so cute! Great video, even if Hutch kisses some (other) girl!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

things i puke at



let me be the first to shake my fist at "the holiday" starring cameron diaz, jude law, kate winselt, and jack black. there is something majorly wrong with a movie when you say jack black and jude law's looks are the only highlights of the movie. i could have watched this on mute and been much happier with it. all i could think about the whole time was jude law's nanny and cameron diaz's supposed nose job. this gets a big D- from me. boooo.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Another piece of art!

Well,
it's time for me to show my pride in my work by giving you all a good spraying with this!


If anyone is in a need of a daily source of jizz production, this beauty might just do it right in your kitchen!
There's about 10 coats of you know what....for a shiny solid finish on this baby.
Oh, and thanks to Ikea for the "affordable" legs. Skeet skeet.

love,
Noodle D.

p.s. really, is anyone interested?

New Tap Shoes

A big fat Fred Astaire jizz to my new tap shoes!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

malajube- love the frenchies



there's even a little tube that jizzes in the first bit! cuuute.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Reverse Jizz: TomKat Wedding



Months of planning! A CASTLE setting! Secrecy to whip the paps into a frenzy! What do we get? A junior prom dress, crazy bangs, and a vomit inducing 3 minute kiss. B and C List celebs wearing inappropriate clothing, and an official wedding picture (above) that my friend Christine described as "Enchantment in a Cave." The icing on the reverse jizz cake was the new information that Tom serenaded her with "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'." And this photo gave me such hope! Badly done, Maverick and Joey, badly done.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Homemade Pie!


We held our breath and our jizz while rolling these puppies out, but look how pretty! Kim made cherry, and I made apple! Yum Yum, Jizz Jizz! Happy Thanksgiving!

Friday, November 17, 2006

Maryland Blue Crabs



ok, so the best thing about living on the east coast is seafood. hands down. my absolute favorite is Maryland Blue Crabs - those things that come in bushels and look at you with little beady eyes - until you cook 'em up and cover 'em in Old Bay!



i'd jizz all over the ocean for these things.

Shat-Rageous!




The commercials for the new William Shatner hosted - "Show me the money" contain more jizz than the show could ever hope to measure up to! Hot ladies jizzing all over Shatner as the words "Shat-Rageous," and "Shat-Tastic" blast across the screen! Watch the commercial here! Rub a big one out for Shatner. Yet another jizz-ariffic Canadian!

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Indie pop rocks!



So late one drunken night into one sleepy morning I was introduced to this internet station SOMA FM through itunes. As I awoke I heard a Nicolai Dunger track I hadn't heard in years! I had to refrain from jizzing though as it was not my bed, scandalous I know.
Anyhow, this show Indie Pop Rocks! has pretty much every indie-pop band I could ever want to hear back to back. Skeet! Skeet skeet! Skeet! Skeet Skeet skeet skeet!
It's like someone jizzing in my ears.
Isn't it sweet, little noodle d is accepting internet radio!
Oh, and for my bleep blop musical needs, their Drone zone is pretty good too!


P.S I would like to mention a street near downtown LA that myself and several other jizzing citizens have labled as Jizz street.


right about there is any area that smells so overwhelmingly of jizz that it could drive a man never to want to jizz again. Please avoid this unfortunate piece of real estate in any ventures into or around LA.
I shall go forward with the jizz and let it flow all around me.
<3 Noodle

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Hearst Lunchtime jizz!

Want a fantastic, cheap, jizzworthy lunch for under $8 in NYC? Well then, you better have a friend who works for Hearst! My friend works at Cosmo and she invited me to come eat and gawk at the beautiful office and girls wearing pretty shoes. We also saw Martha Stewart and Atoosa of ANTM fame! I had butternut squash ravioli and mini-strawberry shortcake. Bigtime jizz!

Durham Public Library

Unlimited trashy novels over which to jizz. And only a few questionable glances when I wore my "Dance Mthrfckr" shirt! A nice quiet jizz for the D-Town public Library!

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Broken West!




Join me in jizzing over the cutest Merge band since The Rosebuds. Your jizz output will triple as their vocal harmonies wash over you! This photo was taken after their debut radio performance so you can see Cheryl Waters jizzin' all over them, too! Click here for a free download. Password: Silverlake.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Go Fug Yourself


My jizziest dream is the one where I wake up and my job is to make fun of celebrity clothes like the Fug Girls. Making sure people who dress like this get their due. This is my favorite "inner monologue entry." And anything they do with Tom Cruise is mega-jizzworthy! They occasionally even waste their precious jizz over the Kate Winslet's and Helen Mirren's of the world. This jizz is for you, Fug Girls! Well-jizzed, indeed!

Thursday, October 19, 2006

more Canadian jizz



Love me some Canadian teenage angst and terrible haircuts! First Wheels has to get glasses, and then he almost fails grade 8, and then his parents die in a car accident! how tragic.

Jumbo Honey Bun



Oh morning jizz! Feeling a little peckish and in need of a sugar jolt, the jumbo honey bun is for you! Double the jizz of a normal honey bun. I recommend a big gulp of Diet Coke or a Jumbo cup of coffee as a way to wash all that tasty jizz down!






View My Stats

Prject Runway

Alright, so I want to take a moment to make our first negative Jizz. I want to spray scaulding, acidic, and receding hairline jizz all over Jeffrey. I think he's an asshole. May he wear pleated pants and orthopedic shoes.


Just look at this Silver Lake piece of style trash. He should not have won. As my only connection to reality tv, besides my aunt making me vote for dancing with the stars (which I want to leave jizz burns on too), I have to say I'm very dissapointed in you Heidi Klum and Co. I was counting on you to vote in my future play-wife, Laura. Shame on you.
Skeet skeet skeet skeet!!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Bull Jizz



My jizz-affair with 850 the Buzz began on early morning drives to work listening to Imus and was bookended on the way home with Adam Gold on the G-Spot. Now 850 has expanded with a sister station 620 the bull. In the morning I now listen to the mojo, skipping the imus for local celebrities like the bad-assador, Tony Riggsbee. Though I listen, I don't call. I refuse to say, "first time, long time." The only thing that makes this jizz bittersweet is their affiliation with Duke, though I do experience a bit schadenfreude when they broadcast blue devils football on both channels. Oh it hurts so good!

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Vacation with Grandparents!


It might seem weird to jizz over going on vacation with the over 70 section of the population, but think about it: free food, early to bed, early to rise, sweet retirement beachfront condos, and unlimited oatmeal cream pies. It's a jizz-tastic situation! And look how cute my grandparents are? I mean you really just want to jizz all over them, make them into gumbo, and eat them.

Friday, October 13, 2006

girl talk. oh baby!



it seems like everyone else is jizzing all over him, so why shouldn't i? i mean, look at that smirk. and he has major hometown pride, which we all know is how i measure jizz-worthiness in rockstars.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Jizz in my ear: Pandora



Right now, I waste more time looking to see who is playing than listening. Nothing is better than a lazy, procrastinatory aural-jizz. The jizz just streams and streams right into my ears.

Little furry jizz balls

Well folks, as per christinas request, here they are.....




Gordon




Raquelle




Red




Clyde


This is by far the most jizz I've shot at any kittens. They're like little Ritz crackers I want to spread Cheez Jizz on!
p.s. Stella has found a happy home here in LA.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Matts apologetic Jizz/ Furniture Making

So, first I must apologize for not jizzing in quite some time.... Second, we all need to give Christina a big ole' jizz for getting us such great press! Who knows, 5,10,20 new people could be letting out their inner jizz with us!
Secondly, I've been jizzing over this table I built. Any bidders on this giant butcher block with a shiny jizz finish on it?

Btw... I've got 4 new heartbreakers (kitties) who need homes. I don't dare post all their pictures without permission cus you might blow an o-ring with the force and amount of jizz that will fly.....
Live long and jizz.

Jizz Love!


Our new friends and fans, the TVGuide.com podcast crew, gave us a rad shout out this week! Check it out, here! We love it when people jizz at us!

Monday, October 09, 2006

Wonder Blintzes!



Soo much jizz in my mouth . . . dipped in sour cream . . . rolled in sugar and cinnamon! Oh sweet jizz-us, I can die happy now!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The Hater


I jizz everyday in anticipation of what Amelie Gillette will hate all over. You can find her (his?) "column" on The Onion's AV Club blog. The blog in itself is jizz worthy, but Amelie isn't afraid to hate, and I love her (him?) for that. One of my favorite entries is here.

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

My new-ish Shoes



Good thing these shoes have large rubber toes to protect me from all the jizzing I've been doing on them.

TVGuide.com Podcast

Do you jizz about your favorite shows all alone, because no one else watches them? Well, now you can rest easy knowing you are not alone! The TVGuide.com crew watches EVERYTHING! Lindsey and I jizz weekly in our office as we listen to their snarky comments and inappropriate jokes. They always pick on Angel - which we agree with sometimes, but that girl is seriously committed to her TV. So, we have to say to Michael & Daniel - "Don't Hate! Jizz." Oh, and this podcast would be even more jizz-worthy if they would only talk about Monk!

Listen here!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Crock-Tober!



This baby will slow cook your dinner while you are at work. Chili! Bean soup! Even roast beef. You'll be just jizzing over with extra flavor! October is the month to celebrate the Crock pot. The celebration started Sunday - Hurry up and Jizz!

Thursday, September 28, 2006



canadians in intense political discussions at the ocsc patio. not an outright jizz, but pretty funny if witnessed 3 nights in a row.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

DV-R

You can even pause live television! The amt of jizz in my TV Room is getting out of control. Sitting in the fatboy . . . watching House . . . it's just too much!

Monday, September 25, 2006

TAKE 5 IN MY MOUTH



jizz. in my mouth! 5 times!!

Fatboy!


The greatest chair ever invented. Jizz.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Stella Stew

I couldn't handle it anymore. Remember when I said I wanted to fry her up and jizz at her? Well, I had to do it.... I made Stella Stew. And then I jizzed everywhere. She was too cute, it had to be done.... This is a bittersweet Jizz...




Monday, September 18, 2006

Henri!



Ok, maybe he's not a tiny jizzmaker like Morseth's kittens, but Henri is the most lovable sweet kitty I've had the pleasure to call my own! I dare you not to jizz all over yourself when he rubs up against your legs and puts his head in your hands! I dare you!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Grey's Anatomy Season 2



My favorite birthday present to myself! I hope one of these days I have time to watch all 27 episodes! It's no secret that I jizz for hot doctors!

Monday, September 11, 2006

Another Heartbreaker

This is getting fucking ridiculous. Another kitten in the back yard. Can we work together and find a home for this little girl this time? I'm just jizzing all over myself with this little bundle of joy. She needs a name too....

Sunday, September 10, 2006

hardwood floors!



take off yer shoes and start the jizzin'!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Cheryl Waters AND The Thermals


Two major jizzes in one picture! Cheryl Waters is really awesome. She loves music, and she is nice to me even when my bands make me suck.

The Thermals are one of my favorite bands. Their new record is so good, I can't even talk about it. Seriously. Work is not a good place for jizz. The Thermals and Cheryl make this policy very hard to keep.

Oh, and Hutch wears tighty whiteys. mmmmm . . .

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Jesse Spano!

So I'm walking along Montecito Beach in front of the 4 Seasons hotel trying not to vomit from too many danish pankcakes and car-sickness... Then, who do I see but that tall, commanding, fighter for teenage girls-lib, Jesse Spano!!!! (Elizabeth Berkeley) I immediately corresponded with Pukey B and then proceeded to jizz at the situation. She then proceeded to call me a macho pig, gave me a buddy-band, and sang a verse of the Zach Attack classic, "Friends Forever."
Here's to you 'Mama'

Thursday, August 31, 2006

The Morning MOJO on AM 620 "The Bull"

The "Bad-Assador" Tony Riggsbee
The "Latin Heat" Joe Ovies

I love the Morning MOJO - Jared and I listen every morning on the way to work. I like that they are nice to people they interview, and I find their commentary interesting even if I have no idea what they are talking about. Joe Ovies is my favorite, because he talks about celeb gossip sometimes. Tony Riggsbee is so cute, and he is the voice of the Bulls - plus, he always knows the old guy history of everything. There is another host, Morgan Patrick, but I don't really like him.

Just wait until Hockey Season again! They get me all fired up!