Fall Mall Jizz

My favorite Mall warrior, Kate T, and I hit the Streets of Southpoint on Saturday bright and early to jizz up our looks for fall!

First, we visited the Clinique counter at Nordstrom. An adorable teenager applied shine and shimmer to my eyes, and then Kate T let me practice scary eyeliner on hers.

Next up, jean shopping at Macy's. Apparently, the commercials didn't lie, Macy's really is a magical jizz factory! The very first pair of jeans I tried on fit perfectly!

After that, we tackled Nordstrom's dress up section to find a spectacular jizz-inducing dress for Kate T to wear to an upcoming wedding. Denise, our "plus-size" administer of jizz, kept us in stitches as she described stealing men from those "skinny LA women" by cooking their men a meal or even just "popping a can of Hungry Jack biscuits."