The Emmy's - mostly reverse-jizz

Worst Emmy's ever? It just seemed really ill-produced, and they should never ever have let the reality hacks into the academy. That opening . . . oof. And Heidi, who I was counting on to class things up a bit, wore bad clothes and actually took part in a "bit" where her clothes were ripped off.

You know it's a bad year when Josh Groban is actually a high point.

Most of the clothes were beautiful! In fact, I feel that I should use this space only to reverse-jizz January Jones aka Betty Draper. Mad Men, winner of the best drama emmy, is a new obsession of mine in no small part due to Mrs. Betty Draper. January Jones needs to hire Betty's stylist and stop shopping for the red carpet in Frederick's of Hollywood. If you look hard enough, you can almost see her freaking belly button for god's sake!

Williams-Sonojizz Recipes

The Williams-Sonoma website is full of fancy-shmancy recipes that all look totally delicious. The good thing is, most of them aren't as hard as you'd think! They just LOOK impressive! This website is a lot less aggravating than FoodNetwork.com, so I give it one mouthful of jizz thumb way up. Try the No-Knead Rosemary & Lemon bread or the filled pankcakes! MMMM!

Teal Jizz

I have painted many pieces of furniture in my life, but none have brought me as much satisfaction as my big teal shelf o' vinyl. Look at it! It's beautiful! It just screams, "TEAL! JIZZ!"

Pot o' Jizz

Last night, my husband created a culinary masterpiece. To the naked eye, it looked like a baked chicken, but once in my mouth, there was a jizz-splosion that shook the very foundation of our house. Thanks to Jared's mad culinary skills and this lovely pot by Le Creuset, baked chicken was taken to a whole new level. Le Creuset will now be known as Le pot de Jette at my house! (and yes, I did look up "jizz" in the English to French dictionary)