Plop Plop Jizz Jizz

I sing a song of Alka Seltzer. With one taste of your jizzy fizz, my wartorn stomach is soothed . . . my headache is assuaged . . . my body is again ready to take the fried apps and jaeger bombs I force upon it as often as possible. Available next to the Combos at your nearest Quickie Mart - coincidence? I think not.