malajube- love the frenchies

there's even a little tube that jizzes in the first bit! cuuute.

Reverse Jizz: TomKat Wedding

Months of planning! A CASTLE setting! Secrecy to whip the paps into a frenzy! What do we get? A junior prom dress, crazy bangs, and a vomit inducing 3 minute kiss. B and C List celebs wearing inappropriate clothing, and an official wedding picture (above) that my friend Christine described as "Enchantment in a Cave." The icing on the reverse jizz cake was the new information that Tom serenaded her with "You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin'." And this photo gave me such hope! Badly done, Maverick and Joey, badly done.

Homemade Pie!

We held our breath and our jizz while rolling these puppies out, but look how pretty! Kim made cherry, and I made apple! Yum Yum, Jizz Jizz! Happy Thanksgiving!

Maryland Blue Crabs

ok, so the best thing about living on the east coast is seafood. hands down. my absolute favorite is Maryland Blue Crabs - those things that come in bushels and look at you with little beady eyes - until you cook 'em up and cover 'em in Old Bay!



i'd jizz all over the ocean for these things.

Shat-Rageous!

The commercials for the new William Shatner hosted - "Show me the money" contain more jizz than the show could ever hope to measure up to! Hot ladies jizzing all over Shatner as the words "Shat-Rageous," and "Shat-Tastic" blast across the screen! Watch the commercial here! Rub a big one out for Shatner. Yet another jizz-ariffic Canadian!

Indie pop rocks!

So late one drunken night into one sleepy morning I was introduced to this internet station SOMA FM through itunes. As I awoke I heard a Nicolai Dunger track I hadn't heard in years! I had to refrain from jizzing though as it was not my bed, scandalous I know.
Anyhow, this show Indie Pop Rocks! has pretty much every indie-pop band I could ever want to hear back to back. Skeet! Skeet skeet! Skeet! Skeet Skeet skeet skeet!
It's like someone jizzing in my ears.
Isn't it sweet, little noodle d is accepting internet radio!
Oh, and for my bleep blop musical needs, their Drone zone is pretty good too!


P.S I would like to mention a street near downtown LA that myself and several other jizzing citizens have labled as Jizz street.


right about there is any area that smells so overwhelmingly of jizz that it could drive a man never to want to jizz again. Please avoid this unfortunate piece of real estate in any ventures into or around LA.
I shall go forward with the jizz and let it flow all around me.
<3 Noodle

Hearst Lunchtime jizz!

Want a fantastic, cheap, jizzworthy lunch for under $8 in NYC? Well then, you better have a friend who works for Hearst! My friend works at Cosmo and she invited me to come eat and gawk at the beautiful office and girls wearing pretty shoes. We also saw Martha Stewart and Atoosa of ANTM fame! I had butternut squash ravioli and mini-strawberry shortcake. Bigtime jizz!

Durham Public Library

Unlimited trashy novels over which to jizz. And only a few questionable glances when I wore my "Dance Mthrfckr" shirt! A nice quiet jizz for the D-Town public Library!

The Broken West!

Join me in jizzing over the cutest Merge band since The Rosebuds. Your jizz output will triple as their vocal harmonies wash over you! This photo was taken after their debut radio performance so you can see Cheryl Waters jizzin' all over them, too! Click here for a free download. Password: Silverlake.

Go Fug Yourself

My jizziest dream is the one where I wake up and my job is to make fun of celebrity clothes like the Fug Girls. Making sure people who dress like this get their due. This is my favorite "inner monologue entry." And anything they do with Tom Cruise is mega-jizzworthy! They occasionally even waste their precious jizz over the Kate Winslet's and Helen Mirren's of the world. This jizz is for you, Fug Girls! Well-jizzed, indeed!

more Canadian jizz

Love me some Canadian teenage angst and terrible haircuts! First Wheels has to get glasses, and then he almost fails grade 8, and then his parents die in a car accident! how tragic.

Jumbo Honey Bun

Oh morning jizz! Feeling a little peckish and in need of a sugar jolt, the jumbo honey bun is for you! Double the jizz of a normal honey bun. I recommend a big gulp of Diet Coke or a Jumbo cup of coffee as a way to wash all that tasty jizz down!






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Prject Runway

Alright, so I want to take a moment to make our first negative Jizz. I want to spray scaulding, acidic, and receding hairline jizz all over Jeffrey. I think he's an asshole. May he wear pleated pants and orthopedic shoes.


Just look at this Silver Lake piece of style trash. He should not have won. As my only connection to reality tv, besides my aunt making me vote for dancing with the stars (which I want to leave jizz burns on too), I have to say I'm very dissapointed in you Heidi Klum and Co. I was counting on you to vote in my future play-wife, Laura. Shame on you.
Skeet skeet skeet skeet!!

Vacation with Grandparents!

It might seem weird to jizz over going on vacation with the over 70 section of the population, but think about it: free food, early to bed, early to rise, sweet retirement beachfront condos, and unlimited oatmeal cream pies. It's a jizz-tastic situation! And look how cute my grandparents are? I mean you really just want to jizz all over them, make them into gumbo, and eat them.

girl talk. oh baby!

it seems like everyone else is jizzing all over him, so why shouldn't i? i mean, look at that smirk. and he has major hometown pride, which we all know is how i measure jizz-worthiness in rockstars.

Little furry jizz balls

Well folks, as per christinas request, here they are.....




Gordon




Raquelle




Red




Clyde


This is by far the most jizz I've shot at any kittens. They're like little Ritz crackers I want to spread Cheez Jizz on!
p.s. Stella has found a happy home here in LA.

Matts apologetic Jizz/ Furniture Making

So, first I must apologize for not jizzing in quite some time.... Second, we all need to give Christina a big ole' jizz for getting us such great press! Who knows, 5,10,20 new people could be letting out their inner jizz with us!
Secondly, I've been jizzing over this table I built. Any bidders on this giant butcher block with a shiny jizz finish on it?

Btw... I've got 4 new heartbreakers (kitties) who need homes. I don't dare post all their pictures without permission cus you might blow an o-ring with the force and amount of jizz that will fly.....
Live long and jizz.

Jizz Love!

Our new friends and fans, the TVGuide.com podcast crew, gave us a rad shout out this week! Check it out, here! We love it when people jizz at us!

Wonder Blintzes!

Soo much jizz in my mouth . . . dipped in sour cream . . . rolled in sugar and cinnamon! Oh sweet jizz-us, I can die happy now!

The Hater

I jizz everyday in anticipation of what Amelie Gillette will hate all over. You can find her (his?) "column" on The Onion's AV Club blog. The blog in itself is jizz worthy, but Amelie isn't afraid to hate, and I love her (him?) for that. One of my favorite entries is here.